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Painful Pleasure (Episode 33)

Monday, 25 June 2018

As we were talking. My phone received a new message.
Behold, it was Moji. I read it, and the contents were. . . “Is
there any quiet place we can sit and talk, where your pretty
girlfriend won’t create a scene?” Text me back if there is”.
Seriously, I was so furious, I knew Moji was being sarcastic
when she made the statement ‘Your pretty girl friend’. “She
must be really jealous. Maybe she feels the same way I feel
for her. Or why will her phone be switched off? Why would
she not go to class the next Day after the whole incident?
Moji must have deep feelings for me. She loves me. Even
more than I love her. Why will she stab lectures for my sake?
Why will she follow me to see my sick mum? Why did she
give her blood? Why did she pay her hospital bills? Why has
she been bringing me food? Why is it that I don’t get to see
any guy with her? Why has she been there for me all the
while. She really loves me. She adores me.” I was thinking
about her. I was so convinced that she really loves me.
Mayowa took my phone, and read the message. “Dapo, this
is jealousy, this girl loves you already. Just go to her and
pour out your mind. Na ogba we dey o. If dis girl do mistake
commot your hand, you no go fit get her again o” Mayowa
said to me. This time, it’s like some spiritual injections were
administered to my system. I had gotten really better
already. I really did not know what to send to her. Emeka
was observing the whole situation. “Guy, make I tell you one
short story wey go make you get sense.” Emeka Said. “Je ko
mo (let him know)” Olu answered, pushing him to tell me
the story. “Emeka, you, tell me story?” I said, laughing
hysterically. . . .

Emeka: Guy, no reason am o. I get experience wella for this
whole tin o. It get one adage wey den dey talk say. “It get
wetin elderly man eye see wey make hin eye enter inside.
Mayowa: Emeka, wen you turn elderly man naw?
Olu: (Laughing) I tire for the guy o.
Me: (sarcastically) Make una leave boss make hin follow us
talk o. Emeka, abeg no mind them I’m all ears.
Emeka: (Laughing) Olu and Mayowa, it be like say una dey
mad abi? Instead may una calm down listen to story wey go
change una life. Una dey form boss. Una father well well
(Opening his fingers wide and pointing them at Mayowa and
Me: Emeka leave them joor, tell me d story wey u wan tell
I listened attentively as Emeka narrated his story.
Emeka: It get one girl for my secondary school, her name na
Amaka. This girl, I like her die. In fact dat time, me self think
say na love. This girl tell me say she love me. That time, den
dey give me 100 Naira as money for food. I go give her 80
Naira, take the remaining 20 drink water. Na when I reach
house I go chop. Na when we reach SS1 I see say na one SS3
boy wey resemble monkey she dey date. Because dat one
papa dey work for oil company. Na so I go tell her say say
she dey mad, say God go punish her. She con tell me say I
be fool. Say my name na ‘helper’. She talk say I just dey help
her ministry as other guys dey do. Na since that time I know
say love no dey.

Me: (I couldn’t help but laugh at his story. Emeka has a very
funny way of talking, that even when he is serious, people
still find him funny. Mayowa and Olu were rolling on the
floor as they were laughing) Eeyah, dat girl dey craze o.
Olu: (couldn’t control his laughter) Eeyah, you for marry that
girl o. You be Emeka, she be Amaka. Una go born Umuka,
Omoka, Amoka, Emaka. . .
Mayowa: Emeka Abeg, na which station you watch that film.
Everyone in the room made jest of Emeka that day. He
would have wished he never told us the story. He didn’t even
feel embarrassed, he was just laughing alongside everybody
in the room.
I really did not know where to see Moji, I later decided to
see her in the departmental block. I texted her immediately.
She didn’t reply my message, then I just hoped she had seen
the message. Around 8pm. I went to the departmental block,
and didn’t see Moji. I called her Number and it was switched
off. . .

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