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Friday, 20 April 2018

I stood still staring at the
lecturer without saying a
word. he looked up from
his table and fixed his
gaze on me.
“Christian what’s wrong? you
haven’t said anything since I
told you about the event” Dr.
Mike said
“yes sir, I’m ready sir. I will
surely do my best sir” I said
Dr. Mike observed me for a
“okay, you may leave now” he
I turned and walked slowly to
the door. I couldn’t even raise
my legs. I opened the door and
went out.
I went to the class we had our
first lecture to see if Sylvia
and Sharon would still be
there but they were no longer
in the class. The class was
already empty. I located a seat
at the back and sat down. our
next lecture was in the next
ten minutes, but I didn’t feel
like going. What Dr. Mike just
told me had really changed my
mood. I left home the morning
with the aim of overcoming
my shy nature. that was why I
tried my possible best to
answer questions in class
today. but right now I’m
doubting my capability of
overcoming shyness . I’m
scared that I will just
embarrass myself and my
department in the presence of
thousands of people. I really
can’t do this. I better look for a
way to decline, in order not to
embarrass my department. it
would be so shameful if I will
just stand in front of
thousands of people and
couldn’t say a word. the HOD
would be very disappointed.
my course adviser would be
disappointed. all lecturers in
my department will be so
I will just make it look like
I’m ill when the day of the
event draw closer. that will be
the best thing to do.
I was lost in my thought that I
didn’t notice that Sylvia and
Sharon were already standing
beside me. it was when Sylvia
called my name that I came
back to reality. I turned to see
them boring holes on my

“Christian, what are you
thinking of? you didn’t even
realize that we have be
standing beside you for two
minutes now.” Sylvia said
I didn’t respond.
Sylvia sat beside me and held
my hands.
“what’s wrong?” she asked
“nothing” I responded
“are you not going for the next
lecture? it’s almost time?”
Sharon asked
“you both should go ahead, I
will join you later” I said
“Sylvia let’s go then” Sharon
said to Sylvia.
“you can go ahead, we will join
you later.” Sylvia responded.
Sharon stood still for a while,
staring from Sylvia to me and
back to Sylvia
“okay” she said and left the
Sylvia gripped my hands and
stared into my eyes
immediately Sharon left.
“you can talk to me now.
what’s the problem?” she
I took a deep breath and stared
back at her.
“you are aware of the event
our department is organizing
next week right” I said
“yes I’m aware. everyone
should be aware of that.” she
“Dr. Mike called me to his
office and informed me that I
would be among the three
students that will deliver
speech on that day” I said
“wow!” she exclaimed
“this is great news”
I looked at her, surprised that
she was happy about it.
“what’s good news?” I asked
“have you forgotten that
I’m……….” I paused as I
couldn’t complete that
she patted my back.
“Christian this is the best way
for you to overcome this
shyness. you can do this” she
assured me.
“Sylvia, I can’t stand in front
of that large crowd. I just
can’t” I said.

“you can” she said.
” let’s go for our next lecture.
forget about it for now. we will
talk about it later.”
“okay” I responded
we stood up and headed
straight for our next lecture.
I didn’t pay attention to what
the lecturer was saying. my
mind was far from what was
happening in class. I kept
trying to assure myself that I
can do this. the more I assured
myself that I can do it, the
more I get nervous.
I left the school immediately
lecture ended and went home.
I needed to rest my head
before it explode.
I quickly lay on my bed to take
a nap.
The knock on my door woke
me up hours later. I turned my
gaze to the the wall clock in
my room and realized it was
6:15pm already. I quickly sat
up and stretched my body.
that should be Sharon. she’s
definitely here for the tutorial.
I stood up from my bed and
walked to the door. I opened
my door and saw her already
glowing with smiles.
“hi Christian” she greeted.
“hi” I responded
“hope you are ready” she said
“sure. please come in”
She walked into my room and
sat on my bed. I locked my
door and went to sit beside
her. though I was nervous but
I won’t allow that to prevent
the tutorial from holding. if I
can’t be confident enough to
be in the same room with
Sharon, how then can I be
confident to face a large crowd.
I need to make sure that the
tutorial goes smoothly. I won’t
disappoint this time.
“can we start?” Sharon asked.
“yes, I’m ready” I responded.
She brought out a book and a
pen from her bag and gave to
me. I collected it from her and
began immediately. I spoke
confidently without being
nervous. After a while of
teaching, she moved closer to
me and rested her head on my
shoulder. I paused for a while,
took a deep breath and
continued. I fixed my gaze on
the book I was holding as I
tutored her. I didn’t take my
gaze off the book. it was the
best way for me not to get
nervous. I continued that way
and later decided to asked her
a question, for the tutorial to
be interactive.

I asked her a question and
waited for her to answer but I
got no reply.
I asked the question again but
got no reply. I slowly raised
my head to see her staring
deeply into my eyes. cold
shiver went down my spine,
but I remained calm. I stared
back at her. I was really
nervous, but I didn’t take off
my gaze from her. I don’t want
her to realize I was nervous.
we kept staring into each other
eyes until she finally took her
gaze off. I heaved a sigh of
relief immediately. while I was
still trying to gain control of
myself, she turned back to me
and stared deeply into my
eyes. I could feel my heart
pounding in my chest as I
stared back at her. All of a
sudden, our faces drew closer
to each other. her lips were
almost touching mine. her
eyes were already closed, but
mine were wide open in
My door suddenly opened. I
quickly turned my gaze to the
door to see Sylvia standing at
the door. she stared at us
open-mouthed. Sharon quickly
sat up properly and adjusted
her blouse. Sylvia fixed her
gaze on us for a while before
she finally spoke.

“I’m very sorry for barging in.
I didn’t know you guys are
busy. I will just take my leave
now” she said.
“Sylvia I……..”
I tried to speak but she walked
out of my room, slamming the
door behind her. I quickly
stood up from my bed and
rushed out of my room but she
was no where to be found. I
returned to my room to see
Sharon already standing.
“maybe we should continue
tomorrow. let me leave for
now” she said.
“okay” I responded.
I lay on my bed immediately
Sharon left my room. I sighed
and took my phone from my
bed. I dialed Sylvia number
and waited for her to pick but
she didn’t pick. I continued
dialing her number but she
still didn’t pick the call. I
waited for about five minutes
and dialed her number again,
but this time, it was switched
off. I dropped my phone on my
bed and took a deep breath.
why is she not picking my
call? what is she thinking? I
asked myself

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