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Thursday, 19 April 2018

Sandra moved closer to
me and held my hands.
she stared into my eyes.
I stared back at her in
shock. she just defined me. it
was not as if we had known
each other for long. this was
even my first time of being
alone with her. how could she
know that I’m always nervous
whenever I’m alone with a

“Christian” she called
“you don’t have to feel bad
about it. you are not the only
one with this trait. you can
overcome it if you can tell
people about it. my uncle too
had this trait. his case was so
bad that at the age of 30, he
still couldn’t approach ladies.
He had no girlfriend. His
parent had to get him a wife
when he wouldn’t introduce
any lady to them. He had to
accept the lady that was chosen
for him because he had no
other option. He never love
the woman he married. He was
later able to control his
shyness when he told his close
friends about it and they gave
him advice which helped him.
he became confident in
himself and was able to
approach ladies, but that didn’t
change anything because he
was already married to a
woman he didn’t love. His
religion doesn’t support
divorce, so he couldn’t divorce
his wife. All this happened to
him because he kept his
problem to himself. if he had
open up earlier, he wouldn’t
have married someone he
didn’t love.”
The pain I felt in my heart at
that moment cannot be
described with words. it was
as if my heart would explode. I
stared at Sandra with so much
emotion. I have never be this
emotional all my life. that was
the first time I’m staring into a
lady’s eyes without being
nervous. I was so pained. I
tried not to speak, for the tears
which had already formed in
my eyes not to drop.
she tightened her grip on my
“Christian I believe you can
overcome this. There is no
problem without a solution.
you have to help yourself. look
for friends you trust and tell
them your problem. you can
solve you problem by telling
people. people who you can
trust. people who can advise
you. if you are confident
enough to tell me about it, I
will gladly give you a listening
ear.” she said and and fixed
her gaze on my, waiting for
me to share my problem with
I stared intensely at her. I
couldn’t get my gaze off her. I
have never stared at a lady
this way before. I wasn’t
myself anymore. I was

“I……….” I paused
I couldn’t speak. my lips were
“I…………” I paused again.
The tears which I had been
holding, dropped freely from
my eyes.
“I have been this way all my
life” I said as more tears flow
from my eyes.
“my childhood till this stage of
my life had been so boring. I
have no close friends. I don’t
know how to make friends. I
don’t always do things that I
wished to do. I don’t go to
parties. I always get nervous
when I’m in a crowded place. I
don’t know how to approach
ladies. I can’t start or maintain
a conversation with a lady. I
don’t do things that normal
human beings do. am I even a
normal human being. tell me
which normal human being
will be behaving this way.” I
said as more tears dropped
from my eyes.

The more I speak, the more
tears flow from my eyes. I
couldn’t control myself
anymore. I was crying like a
baby. I didn’t know I have
been holding all this pain for a
long time. Sylvia drew me
closer to her and wrapped me
in a warm embrace. that didn’t
stop the tears. I even cried the
more. I soaked her cloth with
tears. she tighten her grip on
“Christian you have to stop
crying. Everything will soon be
over.” she said
I later stopped crying, but she
didn’t free me from her hold.
she still wrapped me in a
warm embrace. we remained
that way for the next 20
minutes. we didn’t say
anything to each other. the
room was very silent. I didn’t
know what happened next. All
I could remember was that I
slept off while she was still
holding on to me.

I woke up an hour later with
slight headache. I tried to sit
up from the bed I was lying
but was too week. The event
that happened an hour ago
flashed through my mind. that
was when I realized I was still
in Sylvia’s house and was even
lying on her bed. I sat up
immediately. How did I get to
her bed? All I could remember
was that I was sitting on her
chair. wait a minute, I even
told her my problem. How did
I get that much courage to tell
her my problem. I even cried
in her presence. I can’t believe
I just cried like a baby in a
lady’s presence.
While I was still wandering in
my thought, she emerged from
her kitchen with a cup of tea.
she smiled when she saw me.
“you are awake” she said
I didn’t respond. she stretched
the cup of tea to me.
“have this. it will make you get
I collected the cup of tea
without taking my gaze off
“I want to go home” I said
“okay, but take that first”
I quickly down all the content
and gave her back the cup
“thank you” I said
“you are welcome” she
“I will take my leave now” I
“okay, but make sure you call
me when you get home”
I nodded. I stood up from her
bed and left her house. I left
exactly 9:45pm.

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