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Tuesday, 10 April 2018

It’d been a big struggle to quit my
Same for my big bros!
How the whole thing started was
actually what I did not understand!
Drugs, incest, cigars, clubbing, serious
fashion lifestyle, all!
Dad never envisaged this happening to
his kids-neither did we tho!
Although since we were young, we had
always thought of being ‘big boys’ and’
big girl’, you know that kind stuff shae?
I never really loved church!
I used to like it when we were in the
children church where we sang, ate
biscuits and sipped caprisone but
immediately we got to the youth
church, we were compelled to fast to
church, yet, dad would still be asked to
wait for meetings after meetings.
Oh those Sundays!
It was different from what I watched on
TV or what my friends had told me
about their own churches.
There was so much freedom in their
churches but ours had always been
solemn- no this, no that!
In the long hours of the message, we
would start dozing and then nodding
like agama lizards, shaking our crossed
legs in order to show that we were
following in the Spirit!- such pseudo!
While peeping to see if mum was
watching, her smiling face would greet
me, laden with really loud undertone
that I read to be ‘Ride on sleeper!’ and
then she would look back at her
husband, nodding as the message sunk
into her being.

What was she learning from the biblical
gibberish he was narrating?
Those were the strange thoughts that
my brain processed whenever I
watched on.
I just realized that the Spirit of God
comes in a small still voice most time
while at another time, he could come as
a mighty rushing wind!
So, even in very solemn assemblies of
God’s children, without bang or boom,
God would be present as they offered
themselves holily before God!
The age difference between Ruby, Gem
and I was a year each so by the time
both of them graduated, they didn’t do
well in their international examination
and dad wanted them to study abroad
by all means.
Dad’s dream though!
But we loved it!
The joy of going abroad, posing with
different wonders of the world and
pasting them on my Facebook wall was
The excitement of leaving this dark
continent was killing;
My brothers wanted to go badly and by
the time I graduated, we all passed the
IOEFL exams and off to America we
It was to my dad’s greatest joy and my
mum’s displeasure
We all wept as she hugged us goodbye
but we had to go.
Looking back at that time, I wish we
had never left!
I wish we had stuck close to those
boring sermons for one day, we would
have found it as honey in our mouths
and music to our souls!
I wish we had been under mum’s gentle
but disciplinary measures and dad’s
strict correctional measures too!
I wish we had stayed in our fatherland
because being groomed by the noise of
generator and being bruised by
mosquitoes alone could have been
enough discipline to make us sane!
I wish!
I wish!
Oh I wish!
We left years ago and coming back now,
it was a great difference.
We were no longer the kids our mother
used to think we were!
We knew a whole lot about s-x- oh
mine!- we practiced incest!
We smoked stuffs!!
We used drugs
We went to clubs to dance and all!
We rocked ‘real’ fashion!
But for money issues, we would have
done real plastic surgeries!
For us, we were not influenced by
friends o!

We had seen people around do it and
we wondered why they could do it and
our own parents kept on restricting us!
All these vices we engaged in were all
out of curiosity
I wished dad and mum had told us that
our bodies were really precious to us
They told us though but we thought
that they were just being religious
about it
How I wish they had been more explicit
about these truths!
How I really do wish!
While the three of us rode in our small
car from the movie theatre in Los
Angeles where we had gone to see a
movie, I received a call from Abigail
that we should come home
“Are you for real? Come back home?
You think this is Lag?” I had blurted out
that day
“I am sorry but you have to find all the
means to come back home” she argued
“I think you are sick Ab! What is the
problem?” I was getting angry.
“Mummy is dead!” she exclaimed and I
“What?” I asked to be sure
It sounded too unrealistic and plastic!
“What!” I exclaimed as my brain booted
for a second
“what do you mean?” I screamed and
the car screeched to a halt as Ruby and
Gem looked back at me with
questioning eyes.
I dropped the phone and my head was
“What does that mean?” I asked
dumbly, my heart, muddled up.
“What’s it?” Ruby asked, his eyes
“Did somebody die?” Gem asked,
expectantly and I nodded
“That was what Abigail said” I said and
they both held my hands as if being
“Who?” they asked almost together
“She said mum” I still said on.
I was unable to decode the message
well, so I was seated, blinking hard as if
my brain depended on them to function
It was a riddle unsolved!
“What! Mum’s dad? Are you f-----g
kidding me right now?” Ruby screamed
If nothing, the guys had been mum’s
favorite for a long time now.
“And you are still talking and all? It’s
definitely impossible!” Gem cried out
Ruby placed his head on the steering
and broke down into tears.
“Mum, You can’t die ma. I won’t wear
these god-forsaken rings again. I will
throw them away bt die, no!” he cried
and started removing the rings he was

Those had always been the cause of
argument between him and mum
before we left Nigeria.
Mum said those numerous rings made
him to look like a criminal and that she
didn’t want that for him.
As they wept, the pictures of mummy
smiling, praying on her knees,
correcting us in love, caring and laying
her hands on dad all relived in my
brain and my heart became swollen.
The swelling reached my brain and my
whole head became large and heavy.
My eyes couldn’t bear the pains that
suddenly befell it and immediately,
they became clouded and blurry.
I placed my head on the driver’s seat
and my tears flowed.
Oh precious mum!
As I held her already death-infested,
cold and stiff hands, my tears fell upon
her lifeless body and I placed my hands
on her chest.
Her eyes were tightly shut but the smile
on her face remained there- though,
very dry!
“Mummy, I had always caused you
tears. I had always behaved like a
prodigal daughter. I had never for once
done you any proud but I know your
worth and I really do love you. I can’t
believe you are dead mum…” I cried
on, tears still streaming down my face.
Ruby screamed again as he turned back
from the window side from which he
had been staying for long.
“Mum, you can’t just die. We didn’t
release you to death and you are going
nowhere” he cried aloud.
Abigail sobbed loudly.
“She died since Tuesday and it’s already
Thursday. Her doctor even used some
embalming chemicals on her if not; she
would be smelling by now.” Abigail
explained and Ruby charged at her with
his blood-shot eyes.
“What do mean? For how many days
was Lazarus dead before Jesus raised
him?” he asked and no one answered
“Well, that is even the tip of an iceberg
sef. A whole army died and they had
already dry bones….dry…very dry I
mean but what happened when God
asked the Son of Man if the bones
could live?….” he asked on rhetorically
“They lived eventually” Gem replied,
“They were raised up as a very mighty
army and God promised life to
Israelites that no matter how grave the
situation could be, he would come to
the situation and save them.Read
Ezekiel 37” Ruby preached on.
I watched on
From Ruby who was delivering the
sermon, to Gem who was nodding as an
enthusiastic listener…
I was really dazed!
When did my brothers become pastors
like this?
While we travelled down to Nigeria, we
all held our hands to get strength from
one another and as we sat down, we
cried silently when we thought about so
many things.
Everyone noticed us..
But a man on the same row with us
noticed us more.
He smiled at us and my brothers looked
away irritated
“What sort of a Job’s comforter is this
oh Lord?” Gem complained but Ruby
just adjusted his seat and plugged his

So the man would not feel
embarrassed, I smiled back at him and
he started talking with me.
He was a Neuro surgeon and I was
studying Neuro sciences too so it was
easier for him to get me through that.
I told him about my problems and what
had happened to my mum.
He started to preach to me in a way
that I had never heard before.
He stirred my faith and consoled me,
saying that all would be well whether
she eventually lived or not.
My brothers weren’t listening so how
did they get to hear all these?
Where did they get such a kind of faith
Exactly where?
“While on board today, a doctor told us
that if we have faith like mustard seed,
we can move any mountain…I don’t
think you have seen a mustard seed
before but I have seen it, I have eaten
it. Even if I hadn’t been a good boy, it’s
never too late. That was what he said
and funny enough, I believe it.” he said
on and I was amazed.
He actually was listening to the man on
te plane then.
“No other choice but to believe it as
long as it’s gonna bring back my
momma” Gem rapped on, tears stains
on his face
“Exactly. I have nothing as I stand. No
dime! Only drugs, cigar, beer, whisky,
vodka, nonsense! They can’t revive
mum” Ruby almost screamed loudly.
“Those things didn’t revive Nancy when
she died last month. In fact, those
things killed her…oh s--t!” Ruby
lamented on and on
Nancy was the love of his life.
They had always loved each other until
she died of Tramadol overdose last
It was a real trying time for us all as
Ruby couldn’t take charge of himself no
“If Jesus could wake my mum again o,
chai! I swear that I would give all over
to him. I would be a changed guy. I will
drink no more, smoke no more, and
fornicate no more, no more sin! I
swear!” Ruby cried on as he knelt down
beside mummy, placed his head on her
“She died of blood cancer! It was the
second relapse of the chemotherapy.
Even fibroid was another thing.”
Abigail said again.
She was obviously worn out and tired.
Ruby looked up strictly, stood up,
pulled Abigail’s hands and dragged her
towards the door.
“I used to think that you were a
Christian. You were always preaching to
us over the phone. So, where is that
faith? Where is the faith that Mr.
Douglas talked about? Where?” he said
as he dragged her out
“I was only saying the fact…” she
defended herself
“No fact is needed here gal, only faith!”
Gem said and I looked up at him.
Even Gem!
“Gerrarahere please! I don’t want
anyone who isn’t strong to fight this
battle with me.” He said as he jammed
the door
He dusted his hands together after
turning the key over and over again to
lock it.
“No wonder God ordered Joshua to
screen the thousands of men first
before they started the battle. God
doesn’t fight according to the number
of people available. He is present where
two or more people are gathered” he
said as he walked back to the bedside.
“Anyone with shaky faith here should
go out of this room.” He said and there
was no movement.
“If you all have faith, join your hands
with mine then” he said again and we
all joined our hands together and we
went on our knees.
“Oh Lord, we are sinners…all of us!” he
started the prayer of confessing our

The sins, especially our incest act alone
would kill mum even if God decided to
raise her up.
“Since we have confessed all our sins
and have promised never to go into
them again by your grace, we pray that
you help us oh Lord in Jesus’ name” he
prayed on
“Amen” we all replied.
“Father, heal our mother. Her blood
had been said to be cancerous before
she died and she had been said to even
have fibroid. One thing I believe is that
you have our spare parts in your
hands” Ruby prayed on and I opened
my eyes to gaze at them.
They were both sweating profusely and
shaking all the members of their
“Oh yes Lord” Gem replied, opening his
mouth and closing it as if he had eaten
something peppery.
“Toyota has spare parts for all its
products, same for Sony, same for LG,
so for all other producers. Then let’s
talk more of our own God whom we do
not deserve even to call on” he prayed
How did he get such prayer points?
When last did we step into a church?
It was so strange to me but I loved the
feeling of it.
“And Lord, since the salvation of three
dirty children depends on it here Lord,
glorify your name. please oh Lord.”
Gem cried too.
I swallowed hard.
I was the only one who hadn’t been
touched by whatever had touched these
people of mine o.
Only me!
God have mercy!
I closed my eyes firmly and
remembered Sunday school, I
remembered the little things we had
been taught ever.
I wept bitterly
But I didn’t feel anything special
I didn’t feel anything that would make
me weep and quote scriptures like my
brothers did.
I felt really bad
I wanted to experience it too…
I was constipated

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