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Tuesday, 10 April 2018

What is with all these interrogation o
I never planned for such questions
when I left the confines of my room
that Sunday morning.
After the barrage of accusations
bestowed on me during the service
about Tony and I was ushered into the
Associate Pastor’s room, it was as if I
was being awaited to come and present
my case.
Have you started praying at all?
Do you think you are getting any older?
My sister, pray!
What else are you waiting for?
You have different degrees, you have a
tush accommodation, a car, supportive
parents, a very good job and most of
all, Jesus!
Isn’t there any guy yet?
You want to finish Ph.D. first?
I was speechless but by the time they
were done questioning me without
waiting for my response, I was asked to
go and that we would meet on Tuesday
for the continuation of the talk after I
might have prayed and God must have
spoken to me.

That was right indeed!
When would my prayers for God’s
divine revelation be answered?
Exactly when?
Wait!…am I really still praying as if I
mean it?
I doubt it!

On Monday, I decided to fast and talk
to God about the matter.
I couldn’t bear to go for the counseling
session on Tuesday and have nothing to
say to the pastor.
That would really show that I was not a
responsible Christian.
I wouldn’t want to risk that.
I started praying from 12am on Monday
morning on my knees.
I wept!
I opened my heart!
I looked up and imagined Calvary with
all the goodness that Jesus’ blood
God please speak!
I suddenly lost all the words.
I didn’t know what to say anymore.
There was a great calm and I tried to
listen as I could.
What happened?
Why would there be a silence such as
My eyes firmly shut, my teeth tightly
set with my fists balled up, I slept on
the floor, almost hopeless.
“I have spoken” I heard silently and
still in my position, I was perplexed.
“Who could have spoken now? I am
alone in here and nobody could have
gained entrance into the house.
“What did you say?” I asked again, now
with a better concentration and
I heard nothing
God, plese speak again!
Was that you?
A very, huge and dark silence!
I became overwhelmed and sad.
Why exactly wouldn’t God talk to me?
I had read many books on what could
be the cause of spiritual deafness and I
couldn’t just imagine that after much
sacrifices, God would still not hear nor
speak to me!
I recently had my restitutions done!
Some lecturers that had gone to talk
behind my back that I was a
workaholic and whom I had already
had in my mind- in malice, I
confronted them. I went to meet them,
told them they had hurt me and we
All who have hurt me, I had forgiven.
The pledges, tithes and offerings of my
income, I offered with a very open
I was nice and welcoming!
Hospitability would be a very little
word to describe how muc of a
philanthropist I had become!
I had always abhorred very good and
clean thoughts and so what could the
problem be?
Why wouldn’t God speak to me?
He spoke and then suddenly to reaffirm
that it was He, He had refused to say
What could I do?
Immediately I realized that I was
becoming very down in the spirit, I
stood up from the floor and put my
Bible away in my bed safe.
“You haven’t rounded off your prayers”
I heard something told me and I
twisted my nose to a corner.
That had been the best of God I had
ever had.
Was that my conscience talking to me?
I was already used to that one but I
needed another real thing…something
really GOD!
I walked to the mirror and saw my red,
swollen eyes.
I wiped my face and my heart dropped
What was I going to tell the Pastor
As I lamented and tears ran into my
eyes again, my phone’s notification
sound beeped and I picked it up to
It was a message.
I unlocked my phone and started
reading the message.
This is to remind you of our Master
Life Discipleship Class today at the
University’s Worship Centre by 5.00pm.
Come prepared and may God bless you.
I had totally forgotten
I jumped into the bathroom , jumped
out in a jiffy and started to get ready
for the service.
Though I wasn’t feeling great, I
wondered what made me jump up that
I racked my brain the more and sighed.
Definitely not!
It definitely couldn’t have been because
of Tony
Tony has a person already so what was
the excitement of seeing him about?
It was just the joy of the Lord jare
I shrugged, trying to convince myself to
think straight.
Since he was practicing in the College
Hospital of the university where I
taught, he worshipped in the school
chapel sometimes and so he was made
a discipleship teacher.
I just joined his class last three weeks
when he invited me there and oh my!…
It’d been so wonderful!
He was a very good teacher!
The discipleship class was very fun and
I really thanked the Lord because my
bad mood and ingratitude at God just
melted away like a candle beside the
This Tony boy was just so blessed and
anointed of God!
“God speaks in Diverse ways” was the
topic and see how God just reassured
me in so many ways.
Oh my!
All through the programme, though I
envied the lady that had won this guy’s
heart, I listened with rapt attention.
…and I was blessed!
“I thank all of you that came around to
my church on Sunday to honor the
outgone corps members. God bless
you” he said and the members all
responded well.
There was a loud laughter from a
I looked towards the corner to check
who it was.

Just then, there was a loud sigh from
another corner and I looked at it again
What happened nah?
The sighs increased and I wondered
what it was.
Tony had the perplexed look on his
face too.
“What is it nah?” he asked and one girl
cleared her throat, a very funny smile
on her face.
“Hmmmm, our Oga has started keeping
secrets from us o” one of the guys said.
That was when I knew that it was a
planned one by the whole students —
except me!
Tony smiled
“I don’t seem to understand you
dearies” he said, carrying his Bible
“…even maritally God has done it!” one
said, emphasizing the maritally well
and I got it!
Oh gosh!
This wasn’t just fair!
What sort of a demeaning,
embarrassing question was that oh
I shouldn’t have come for the
discipleship class jare.
They just want to spoil my tummy for
me and make me think one kind.
Tony smiled heartily
I looked at everyone present and I felt
ashamed of myself!
They were all looking happy for him,
smiling graciously.
I started practicing how to laugh a real,
genuine laughter but as much as I tried
to, it was not real at all.
“Of course nah. You want to know
her?” he asked and they all screamed
I didn’t want to be the odd one out, so
I said ‘yes’ too.
“I will tell you” he said and I smiled
though, but I cried in my heart. Itt felt
as if I had really bad constipation in my
Oh my father!
But the look on his face was not the
usual bold, daring one
He was sweating under his nose and
undr his lower lip.
Although he was smiling, there was
something about the smile that I didn’t
Was it afraid?
Or shy?
Or timid?
Something like that!
“She is a lecturer!” he blurted out and
my heart skipped a beat.
“Hmmmm” the students exclaimed and
clapped joyously.
Lecturer ke!
I just pray I don’t know the person o…if
not, I pray I don’t act like Abigail!
“Tell us more” they screamed and he
smiled again
“Her surname is Williams” he said
again and they clapped again
That was my surname!
“The lady would pay for answering the
same surname with me o” I tried to
mutter and while everyone laughed
loudly, he smiled- weirdly!
“And she is seated in here with us as
Sister Precious” he seated, picked up
his Bible and turned to go.
All eyes was on me and I was shocked.
My heart resigned from its duty for
some seconds before I regained my
As if being consoled, I pulled him back
by the collar.
I felt his shivers but I was in worse
shivering too and I couldn’t help
“Where were you going to?” I asked in
a very shaky voice.
Everyone watched on.
Tony kept on looking downwards.
“You mean that after saying that kind
of a thing, you expected me to jump up
and say ‘oh, a great, handsome guy has
proposed!’ was that your expectation?”
I almost shouted.
The members of the other discipleship
centers had started gathering to look at
“What audacity and effrontery do you
have to say such a thing while turning
back to leave? Exactly what? Answer
me!” I shook him by the collar and he
said nothing still.
“Are you a celeb? Even if! I don’t care.
Is that your proposal? Even if I don’t
like candles and fireworks, what sort of
a thing is this? Exactly what? I am
begging to marry you? Tell me”
I ranted on and I was shocked that my
Mr. Macho had suddenly turned to
“What is happening here?” a voice
came from behind me and I looked at
It was David, Tony’s closest friend.
He looked shocked as he quickly came
to his friend’s rescue.
He hugged him and like a baby, Tony
hid his face in his chest and held unto
him tightly.
“Tony, what is it?” he asked and I
watched on
Have I done something suicidal?
It was this guy that made me feel
stupid as if getting married to him was
a big deal or that I had no choice or
something. That was why I did that
They should stop making me feel guilty
“Oh, please don’t be angry at his
sudden outburst” David said, looking at
me intently.
I wondered how Tony explained the
matter to him when I was so close to
them and I heard nothing from their
Their friendship codes must be really
tight o!
I could only nod.
“It’s his first time” David said again and
Tony sobbed loudly
“Awwwww” one group member said
“No wonder!” another group member
I turned to look around and all eyes
were fully set on me.
Was it my fault that he had never
propose to any lady before?
But wait o…
Its weird jhur!
Someone of that caliber- from a
prestigious hospital in the exposed and
sultry America had never asked a lady
Of course, he is outdated!
David led Tony away and I felt empty
What drama just unfolded?
I wasn’t a naturally hot tempered
person…so what happened?
Was I too overjoyed that I didn’t even
know what I was doing?
Even if this guy didn’t know the right
way to go by it, couldn’t he ask
colleagues to give him clues as to how
to do these things?
Couldn’t he?
He still has his faults abeg!
“You still have your own faults my
dear” that was undoubtedly Alice’s
voice and I felt a jab in my heart.
Alice had been my friend from the
secondary school and we have had
things in common for a long time- she
was a lecturer too.

Tony was her greatest crush!
I would never had wanted her to watch
this kind of drama- never!
But here she was!
“You have things go easy for you
Precious that you sometimes lose
focus” she said
Although I felt for her that she must
have had her heart broken by this
unexpected proposal, I couldn’t stand
this long talk of accusation.
“You were not here at the beginning of
the whole thing. So who are you to
judge?” I retorted and still maintaining
a stern face, she shook her hand.
“But you should know that I am too
intelligent not to fix my storyline
together even if I start watching the
drama from the middle” she said,
smiling mockingly.
Of course I know!
She was a really great raconteur- she
tells tales as if she was there when they
But she shouldn’t bring that in here
“You hated surprises and according to
the story you earlier told me, you told
him you hated candles and fireworks or
whatever…the poor guy asked you
what you liked then and you thought
he was asking for asking sake? Of
course no! Oh how I hate clueless
people!” she exclaimed and buried her
head in her hands.
I now understand!

I didn’t faint when all these happened
Instead, I gained more strength to pull
at his collar.
His method was actually the one that
could curtail my rubbish heart from
fainting unnecessarily!
Oh my!
I never saw it in that light
This guy had won again!
Oh Alice!
Oh my!
Oh Tony!
As the crowd dispersed, grumbling,
mumbling and gisting as they went, I
sat down beside Alice and buried my
head into my hands too.
The flashes of the vision I had earlier
where I saw Tony and I came to live in
my skull television.
How he drove my car
How he called me MMR
How he looked deeply into my eyes
How we were clad in the same type of
How he had always appreciated my
rare big stature in real life
How he had possessively held my
hands when we were before Abigail!
Oh my!
I was just so clueless!
Of course, Alice must have a strong
hatred for clueless people like me.
Just then, my mind went to the reason
we were brought together in the vision.
If the coming together of Tony and I
was already coming to pass, chai! That
would spell a real, thick trouble o.
A real, thick one!
I saw as Mummy Pastor bled so much
that she died and the whole church
gathered round her to mourn her and
pastor wept!
“I reject it in Jesus’ name” I screamed
Alice looked up at me questionably but
I was not in the mood to start saying
anything further!
It’d been three weeks since I saw her
and oh my! I hadn’t visited her!
The lectures had been really hectic
especially as I was dealing with final
year students.
I packed my stuff quickly and pecked
“I am sorry friend and thanks for the
bash! I’ve got to go somewhere
urgently” I said and ran out of the hall
with Alice’s eyes following after me- I
was so sure!
I was so weak!
But I wouldn’t die!
Not at all!
I had been on this mountain for three
weeks now without food, water or
change of raiment.
The pajamas that I wore that very day I
left home was the only thing on me.
The dew of heaven had been my source
of bath since I got there.
Of a truth, the saying that one should
pray so that one wouldn’t pray was a
real big advice!

Because I failed in my responsibility as
a father and a husband, I knew that
only God could have mercy once again
and heal my family.
I was clueless about everything!
I had been a man who had desired a
very happy home and it had been the
I had a really beautiful wife and three
intelligently wonderful kids.
All went well until I started cheating on
my wife!
Of course that was what it was or what
was another name for neglecting one’s
own wife and moving out of the house
to another to get glued to a ministry?
That was cheating of the highest other!
With her wonderful hat and expensive
suits that I bought her for the
ministry’s occasion, she would enter
my car every Sunday with no
She would peck me and pray for me
I thought she enjoyed me being away
from her….how the devil deceived me!
Oh how clueless I was!
My wife had been blown around like
that for a very long time and I didn’t
She had gone through the painful stress
of chemo and I never knew
The Holy Spirit didn’t tell me
Oh my Father!
She had been the candle in the wind all
She had her light up no matter what!
The candle kept on shining and
enduring the wind as it blew violently
But the wind was too powerful!
The candle couldn’t stay alive
It died!
I shuddered at the reality of what was
on ground and started to pray again.
“God have mercy!” I cried on
“Go home” the Spirit told me.
I was so conversant with the voice that
I was convinced that it was him.
“I should go home when I don’t know
whatever my fate is? I should go home
when the doctor had dictated the path
the destiny of my wife was taking?
Obviously not oh Lord!” I cried and
tried to hold onto the leg of the Lord as
if I could see it so he would replace
everything in my wife’s body again.
“Go home” the spirit said again and my
heart dropped.
The voice didn’t give me peace!
It was just a wary command and I was
I fell on the rocky surface again and
cried the more.
“Pastor!” I heard that voice faintly and I
was shocked!
Who could that be?
That was a feminine voice and how did
she get to know where I was?
I tried far into my farm to start on the
mountain in it.
Who could have known about it?
“Daddy!” another voice echoed and I
was dazed

It wasn’t getting funny any longer.
That was a male voice.
They were running and panting.
“Pastor Idile!” the feminine voice cried
out again and I became scared the
My resolve was that I would not leave
this place till I got news that my wife
was well again but those voices were
not nice.
The Spirit’s voice wasn’t assuring
I stood up and looked towards the
north where the voices were sounding
from and I saw them coming!
Tony and Precious!
“Tony!” I shouted and he looked at me
and started running again
“Daddy!….ah, thank God” he screamed
“Precious, what has happened?” I
asked faintly and they came before me.
As if being controlled, they held their
knees, panting heavily and trying to
find the right words.
I surprisingly had a great deal of
patience though my heart thumped so
loudly and violently.
Tony looked up and oh my!
The red eyes and nose!
Precious started sobbing and looked up
at me
I fell to the ground again and resolved
that I was going to die on the mountain
“Daddy, you have to come with us”
Tony said hopelessly and I looked into
Precious’ face for moral support but
her negative nods killed it all.
“Oh God, why?” I cried aloud, my
hands were raised to the heavens.
I shook so terribly but I had no choice!
If I would faint or die, this wilderness
would still be the most appropriate
Oh God!
“Just go home” the spirit said again.
My heart shattered into different
irreparable pieces!

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