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Tuesday, 10 April 2018

The gate opened and mummy pastor
moved to the window to peep.
“Its him” she said and turned back to
the bed.
She picked the divorce form, put it
inside a large brown envelope and
moved to the door.
“Mummy, please don’t do this to us.
Please” I cried out loud and she looked
back at me.
“Just watch! Shush your mouth! ” She
exclaimed and I became mum, still
She opened the door and we followed,
As she desended down the stairs, we
hid behind the balcony and watched
from up the stairs.
“Dearie, what was that call about?
Exactly what?” He asked as he dropped
his briefcase.
Mummy pointed the brown envelope
into his face.
“Exactly this” she said.
Pastor collected it, checked and went
down on his knees.
“Don’t do this to my ministry please.
Please don’t!” He raised his hands
towards her and she pushed them
“That’s it! The real you! You are very
selfish! As selfish as anything! His
ministry first. His wife could die for all
he cared but his ministry shouldn’t” she
was almost screaming
“But would you love the ministry to
die? Why are you talking like this?
“Your ministry was long dead dearie!”
Mummy shouted loudly
“What!” He exclaimed loudly too,
charging at her defensively.
“You want to beat me? Please talk to
me Kelvin! You really wanted to?” She
asked in a shaky voice.

“God forbids that I do that. I can never
lay my hands on you. I can never beat
“Is this the first time you would beat
me? You have beaten me on several
occasions hon. You have” her voice
“You’re talking strangely. First, you said
my ministry had long failed. Then, you
said I had beaten you. What is it?”
“Your ministry failed when your
marriage failed Kelvin! You ministry
failed when Gem and Ruby started
smoking, drinking and clubbing. Your
ministry failed when Rose, your only
daughter started delving into
prostitution as if it was her profession.
Your ministry had long long failed
She started crying as Pastor stood up
from his kneeling posture.
“What are you saying?” He said again as
he sat down.
“You have beaten me several times. You
beat me when you moved out of this
house and rented another apartment
“That was to give you privacy”
“What stupid privacy is that? I ask
again. Talk! What stupid privacy is
needed between a husband and a wife?
Pastor looked shocked
“Did you just say stupid? Did you just
say so?” He asked
“Yes I did… Because I am mad! I did
because I no longer use my brain. You
sent all children abroad against my
wish.wasn’t that a huge slap?”
“I only wanted the best for them”
“And who says the best is only abroad?
Since we didn’t agree and you just took
laws into your hands, treating my
opinion as trash, it was a slap”
“I will change dear. Just tear this form.
Tear it. God hates divorce!”
“Yes he does! But the separation for
how many years now would be called
what? When last did we meet as
husband and wife? When last did you
say you love me? When? Exactly
Pastor’s head was bowed low.
“You’re simply a wicked, insensitive
pretentious, bad hypocrite!” She
exclaimed again.

“I have been a good wife to you. I had
obeyed and submitted to you all day
long. What have I gotten in return?
Heartache, hate, bitterness, sickness
and death!”
She fell on the cushion and cried to
Pastor knelt beside her and they both
“Dear, I didn’t know you were hurting.
I felt that I was the only one that felt
that our marriage was in shambles. I
knew something was wrong but I
couldn’t place it” he cried.
“You tried prayers too?” She asked
“Yes I did but I gave up when it seemed
like I was failing and all seemed worst. I
will change dear. Give me another
chance” he cried.
“Sign the paper” she cried on
“Dear, no! I still love you” the pastor
She held his shoulders and shook him.
“Sign it!” Her voice rose the more.
“No love! I will make it work again! I
will rock you in my arms like a baby
and carry you upstairs when you fall

 I will go back to the way we
started before. I will sing for you, bring
back our children, we will have a very
large and lasting reunion. Just trust me
again dear. Please”
“Empty promises!” She exclaimed.
He shook his head vigorously.
“Not empty this time around. I am
serious. Ok, any goal without a deadline
is as good as dead. Give me a week. All
would be new again” he said, going on
his knees again.
“And I wouldn’t be dead by then? She
“Dead? God forbid!” He exclaimed
“Put it in writing” she said
“That?…” He asked looking at her
“All these promises you have made.
Write them down because after a week,
it would be all over if there is still no
He unzipped his bag, picked a paper
and a pen and scribbled something
down. He gave it to her.
She nodded affirmatively
“Sign here” she said again and he
“All because of your ministry shae?”
She asked again and he shook his head.
“Not totally… Because of both my
family and our ministry” he said,
standing up and straightening up.
“Where are you going to?” She asked,
looking up at her
“To pack my load from that house. I am
coming back home” he said, moving to
the door.

Mummy pastor smiled.
He looked back at her.
“Would you love to go with me?” He
asked and mummy smiled
“To prove to me that my husband has
“Wifey, I promise to be a better man,
husband and father. I really do mean it”
he said and as he looked at her, he
picked up the divorce paper and tore it
to pieces.
“We wouldn’t be needing this.” He said
and I said a bug amen! in my mind.
I loved the style everything took.
It was cool!
As pastor pulled her close to himself,
his arm round her neck, mummy
looked back at us and smiled.
Then, I saw the tears!
Oh my God!
What expression was that?
What was running through her mind?
That it was too late to mend?
Was she going to die now that we can
see silver lining overshadowing the
dark clouds?
God please intervene again!
Nothing is impossible for you!
And thanks for this sudden turnaround.
I was happy.
I stood up from the stooping position
from which I had watched the drama
from upstairs and I met Tony’s open
I felt butterflies in my belly.
The space between us was narrow and I
inhaled his scenting shaving cream.
I took a closer look at the face of the
man of my dreams- all the contours
and all.

From his full eyebrows, to his very
white eyeballs, the fleshy nose… I could
see the nostrils… His lips.. Oh my!
“Hmmmm… Flee all youthful lust o!”
He exclaimed, still in that position
I came back to my senses.
This guy is too blunt!
I summoned courage
“Why were you standing so close?” I
“Why were you looking into my face
intently. You wanted to commit sin?”
He asked again and blood rushed into
my ears.
This guy wouldnt kill me with this
outrageous level of his bluntness o!
As I turned to go, I noticed the smile on
his face.
It was somehow.
“What is it again!? Why are you gazing
so deeply!?” I asked too.
The smile was still on.
“Precious” he called out and I looked on
“What?” I almost shouted
“If it’s not the candlelight and balloons,
what style do you love since you hate
surprises” He asked, the contemptuous
smile still on his face.
… and I died!
Simply died!
My ears, heart, mind, soul, spirit, all

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