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Monday, 9 April 2018

It’s the safest thing to do…
Those were the words I heard faintly
and I moved my leg.
Where was I?
“Mummy, but God is against that. He
never would love it. You would break
God’s heart with that decision of yours”
That should be Tony.
“Well, I know quite alright but it’s
funny how I have been going against
everything I know in the Bible. It’s
funny” I heard some sniffing.
That should be mummy pastor!
Was she crying?
What happened to me?
Was I sleeping in the middle of an
argument as hot as this?
What happened?

I racked my brain for a long period of
time and it relived in my face and in
my ears.
Oh my God!
Don’t tell me I fainted!
I felt a sensational surge run through
my spine and I felt almost useless.
How could I faint like that- in the
presence of Tony?
That was why I hated surprises- good
or bad!
I wondered why some girls and even
married women cherish it when their
spouses surprises them.
If it were to be me, my hypothalamus
wouldn’t just decode the signals well-
or probably it decoded it well but my
heart couldn’t take it.
“If Tony wants to propose to me, he
should sha not go and do mad surprises
of balloons and candlelight o. They
would have to send for an ambulance
if he does that” I said and chuckled
silently. The thought alone made me
There was a deafening silence and I
wondered if the duo had left what they
were doing or discussing. I opened my
eyes halfway and saw Tony staring at
me with a funny smile on his face.
He shook his head, fixing his eyes on
I shut my eyes quickly.
“What did she just say?” Mummy
pastor asked and my heart jumped into
my mouth
They heard what I said?
I was only lost in my own world o
Tony laughed
Oh Lord!
I had to save the situation…what
should I do?
I stretched my arms and coughed.
“What sort of a bad dream is this Lord?
Tony and I? God forbid!” I hissed again
and pretended to be asleep.
“Jesus! What is happening? She seems
to be having a nightmare. Let’s wake
her please. Abi?” mummy pastor asked
and I opened my eyes halfway again to
see the frowning face of Tony.
I shut my eyes again and smiled.
Tony laughed hard and pinched my
“Enough of this nightmare sleeping
princess” he stressed the ‘’nightmare’’
that I knew assuredly well that he
understood my tricks
I tried to harden my heart.
At least mummy didn’t understand.
Thank God!
I stretched again and coughed three
times before I opened my eyes.
I looked around so naively.
I was in mummy pastor’s room and it
was still as clean as I had left it few
weeks back.
She held my shoulder softly and I

“Thank God you are alive.” She said
with gratitude and smiled deeply.
I smiled too- faintly
Tony shook his head and his nose was
cushioned up in contempt.
What’s with this guy abeg!
“You fainted because you heard the
story of my life. What if you
experienced it?” mummy asked again
and I looked up at her.
She smiled still and I called my spirit,
soul and body together.
What if I experienced it for real?
“So, I have decided to file for divorce”
she blurted out and my heart rang very
Divorce ke!
God forbid!
“Mummy, divorce!” I exclaimed so
loudly holding my chest as I stepped
out of the bed in which I had been laid.
I didn’t hear correctly!
“I can’t bear it anymore. Even though it
costs me anything, divorce is my last
resort and I am going in for that” She
said and tears ran down my face.
I could imagine the news headlines the
following day about my pastor’s
divorce after a failed marriage. I could
imagine critics and enemies wagging
their tongues in interviews and my
tummy dropped.
This isn’t good oh God!
I looked at mummy pastor and she
looked really resolute- her mind was
made up.
What else could I say to a woman who
had gone through hell in recent times-
or even all her life!
“Mummy, God still hates it. No matter
what! Even in Matthew 17 versus 25 or
thereabout, He stated His hatred for
divorce clearly. Even in the case of
adultery, He still hates it!” I tried to
pursue my argument.
Mummy pastor laughed
“It’s not Matthew 17:25 o lady
evangelist. It is Malachi 2: 16” she
How hard it is to preach to a
backslidden preacher!
He would just turn you from one side
to the other and quote scriptural
references with you even before you
But, is mummy also a backslider?
The bible says the first shall be the last
and the last shall be the first. Was that
bible verse coming to reality already?
I shuddered at the thought.
Mummy put her hand on my shoulder
and pressed softly.
“I am going to die anyway. Just two
weeks and I would be gone” she said,
dejectedly and my heart skipped a beat.
I looked at Tony who buried his face
underneath his palms.
“So, why not divorce him before I just
waste away just like that? Why not?”
she asked again, her voice shaking

What to do?
Death ke!
Please Lord, don’t allow her die.
I pushed Tony’s shoulders but he didn’t
look up at me.
“Why would she die? Isn’t there
anything that could be done? Nothing
at all?” I cried
“Miracle” he muttered.
Was he crying too?
Oh Jesus!
I left his shoulder and faced
mummy pastor again.
“Mummy, tell daddy. He still has the
money to do something about this. You
can fly out of the country or something.
You should not allow an ordinary
private doctor to dictate to you what is
I didn’t know when the words came out
of my mouth but whatever I said sure
had an inestimable effect on Tony who
looked at me through the space
between her fingers and shook his
Mummy laughed
“Who is the ordinary private doctor?
Tony? Nope! Don’t ever see him as
such. He is definitely a big gun when
we talk about medicine.”
I looked at him and lots of thoughts ran
through my mind.
A big gun?
“Dont judge a book by its cover my
sweet girl” she said and I just nodded.
What was I supposed to say?
I am sorry?
I am regretful or what exactly?
It is well o
Wasn’t he just a serving corps
My mind travelled far and I wondered.
I shook my head afterwards and
focused on mummy pastor.
“Ok, lets assume that he is a bug gun
for real ma, what is the probability that
all he had told you is true?”
I talked so childishly that it hurt my
heart but I couldn’t just express myself
any better.
“It isn’t only me working on her ma.
It’s a group of international
gynaecologists” he explained and I felt
Why did he talk that way?
He didn’t like the way i talked- it was
so obvious.
“This is the second phase of the
leukemia thing my daughter. Its a
relapse” she explained and I looked at
her lips as they danced.
I wanted more explanation.
“Dad had a foreign mission in America-
Oklahoma to be precise. We went
together. You at home would think ‘oh,
love things’ but we were apart. I ached
to see my children while there and I
succeeded. They looked really awful!
My boys’ eyes were red and my only
daughter looked so jezebellic. I really
cried that day. I put a call through to
my husband since he was away to
allow us bring them back to Nigeria
but he refused and ordered me to come
back to Oklahoma- he didn’t even see
the children! He only sent money.”
Tears ran down her face and my heart
yawned for her.

“While there, my bp rose and since my
husband wasn’t even around for me to
complain to, I went to the hospital and
to my greatest surprise, I was
diagnosed with full blown leukemia.! I
couldn’t die but chemotherapy begun
immediately” she explained and I
watched on, warm spittle gathering in
every corner of my mouth.
“So, dad knows about the first case of
the leukemia?” I asked and she smiled
“I went through chemotherapy, my hair
started falling off, my teeth started
rotting away, yet on the 3rd day after
my 3 weeks’ admission which he didn’t
know about, he still climbed me and all
this marriage intimate things still
happened, you know? He didn’t notice
that I wasn’t active in bed. He didn’t
notice my pain, my teeth, my hair,
My body cringed
I could only imagine that.
That’s sheer insensitivity!
“But mummy, you could have told him.
You could have” I retorted
“I know I should have. But I was hurt.
That wasn’t the man I married. He just
changed when he was asked to head a
large church. I felt it was too big for
him. Anytime I put my hurts aside to
tell him I wasnt well, he wouldn’t even
let me land before he says I should be a
woman of faith and he would pray with
me. I would be embittered the more
and would then keep quiet. I am
phlegmatic by nature”
She allowed the tears to flow and I
allowed mine too.
I had read about these temperaments
stuffs and for her to really endure such
pains, she was a real phlegmatic and
her husband must be a choleric
melancholic man not to even notice at
“He called that we were to leave for
home soon with the mind that I had
been with my children all these weeks.
I told my doctors who told me that i
was surprisingly getting healed. I was
given lots of drugs and we came back
home.” She explained and I swallowed
I watched on as she explained further
how the symptoms started four months
ago and she started chemo again.
“When the news got to my hospital in
the US, a top Nigerian gynaecologist
who originally had something doing in
this country was sent to take over my
“And thats Tony?” I asked in a very
raised voice.
Mummy nodded.
“Oh Lord of lords!” I exclaimed.
Tony shook his head and fixed his gaze
on me.
“Ah, it is well o. I didn’t know o”
I respected with utmost sincerity
medical doctors trained abroad.
If nothing, I knew they had been
trained with probably the best
technologies ever.
“This is the divorce letter. My lawyer
brought me a copy today because I
requested for it.” She said, spreading it
in the bed and I shivered as I held it in
my hands.

Tears rolled down my face.
“Mummy, this can’t happen! No!” I
cried loudly
“Daughter, Let me do it. That would
give me joy. Enough of deception and
camouflage. Its time to tell the whole
world that I had been a candle in the
wind all the while and that since I dont
have a shed anymore, I am giving it up
to the wind”
“Mummy, don’t give up at all. Please,
don’t” I cried the more
….but her mind was made up!
Her phone rang
She picked it up
She winked at us and then placed it on
the loud speaker
“Hello hon” she said
“You are awake now?” He asked
“I was to go to South Africa but
unfortunately, I have been reassigned
to anchor a revival next week. I cant go
“That’s not unfortunate at all hon. They
want you to have enough time for the
wife of your youth. Love things you
know? I have missed you”
He laughed loudly
“Sweetheart! Funny you! Miss me when
I just left you few minutes ago?”
Tears rolled down her cheeks
“Did you even know that I am sick? Do
you know?” She cried
“Sweetheart! Let the weak say I am
strong… Let the poor say I am rich,
because of what the Lord has done….”
He sang Don Moen’s song so
I looked into mummy’s face and I really
felt devastated.
She looked lonely and lost.
“Dear, come on stop it! Please do! I am
not fine. I am tired of everything. I
mean everything as a whole. This
marriage isn’t working anymore. I want
it over! I quit!”
She screamed ‘I quit’ three times before
dropping the call.
She panted for few minutes before
collecting the bottle of water Tony
extended to her.
She gulped almost three times before
looking up.

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